


Nightmare

by namane12



Category: Akatsuki no Yona | Yona of the Dawn
Genre: Betrayal, Blood, Childhood Friends, F/M, Mild Gore, Murder, Night Terrors, Nightmares, Regret, Revenge, Symbolism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-10
Updated: 2017-02-10
Packaged: 2018-09-23 05:43:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9643070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/namane12/pseuds/namane12
Summary: Su-won knows he is responsible for the flames of rage dancing in Yona's eyes, and the heat haunts his mind when night falls.





	

"It can't be helped.. We will be sleeping here tonight."

At the word from the general, the small group of soldiers that had poured into the average sized newly built hospital began laying down the limited number of pillows and blankets for the unexpected guests.

Tae-Jun had requested that Su-won bring as many of the castle medics as possible, and had sent for the Happy Hungry Bunch as well, as there had been a huge break out of a potentially serious epidemic that had infected all of his patients. Tae-Jun was even beginning to feel weak himself, but pushed through with all his might for the sake of being useful to his king. What sort of use would he have for a sick general?

-

"Hak, why don't you keep watch?" Yoon suggested, standing off to the side, observing the strange, dazed looks on both Yona and Soo-won's faces. Hak glared at the avoidant blonde, who was glancing around the room, appearing to be concerned that everyone had a place to lay, but was really trying to avoid the gazes and burning hatred of the crimson-haired princess and the furious lightning beast. 

After arguing with Yoon that he shouldn't have to leave Yona alone since there were plenty of soldiers who could keep watch, Hak finally gave in and exited. The soldiers had slowly taken their places on their makeshift beds, and as the night dragged on, their hushed chatter began to die down. One by one, everyone began falling asleep. The Happy Hungry Bunch, as well as Su-won and a few nurses had stayed awake to continue caring for patients through the night.

Su-won had stayed up the longest, helping take care of the patients while most of the soldiers had already gone to sleep (as they were afraid of getting infected). Most were asleep when Su-won finally began to feel a wave of fatigue. He turned towards the corner of cheap bedding, and frowned. A pang of guilt spread through Su-won's chest as he took the only empty space left; the one next to Yona.

Even in the dim, candle lit room, he could still tell she had the most lovely peaceful expression on her face. Her lips were slightly parted, her eyelashes fluttered in her sleep, and watching her breath slowly make her chest rise and fall was incredibly relaxing. 

The blond couldn't help but stare. "My," he thought, letting a sorrowful smile cross his lips, "she looks like.. the young girl she was when I last saw her.."

Memories of the two of them sharing beds when they were children and how close they used to be flooded his mind. He felt a tear slide down his cheek as he watched her. "She looks so different... When she doesn't have that look in her eye." He envisioned the look in her eyes whenever she looked at him and realized that she never looked at him any other way anymore. The hateful gaze always sent chills down his spine, but burned holes in his mind like nothing else. He felt the flames from her eyes lunge at his own, expressing the pure anger she felt towards him without her having to make a sound, but a warm sadness that could only be regret showing itself always spread through him. As he watched her porcelain, youthful face, he again replayed the expression on the princess' face while she watched the love of her life murder her father in cold blood.

"That's right...  
She loved me... Didn't she?"

He reached out and gently moved a short piece of bright hair out of the princess' eye, feeling another tear travel across his nose and drop onto the sheet.   
"He deserved it..." He thought, justifying his actions to himself, but stopped short. "But you didn't." Another tear fell as he whispered the words to himself. 

His thoughts drifted to that fateful night. The night he got everything he wanted, but lost everything he had. The night the world had turned on its head. The night the world became his own, and the resistant flames were born. He let his eyes close and saw the king's face as his last breath left his body. He felt the friction of his sword traveling through the king's heart, and felt the warm blood splatter onto his face. As the wave of slumber enveloped him, for a moment his memories crossed over into unreality, and he felt pure terror rise within him. 

He was suddenly back at the scene of his terrible crime. He had a throbbing pain in his heart, and although his face was dry, his eyes were filled with tears that blurred his vision and refused to fall.

He stumbled along a long hallway of the castle, feeling a certain heat radiating off of the walls. This was not a heat that was pleasing to the skin, it was of passion, and while it was not physical, he felt flames licking at him. As he walked, he began to notice a soft splashing sound around his ankles. He blinked several times and looked down at his feet, only to find them covered in blood. Instead of rich scarlet carpeting on the floor of the castle hall, there was only a shallow pool of blood. His pulse began to race, and his airway began to feel constricted as his feet began to feel like they could could melt from the heat. Panic rose in his mind, so he broke into an stunted sprint. A few times he tripped due to liquid friction pushing and pulling his legs, and would fall down, causing the warm blood to cover him. He screamed but continued on. 

There were guards at every door, and the hallway was symmetrical with doors on both sides. They all were frozen, with a hand covering their eyes. They did not respond to him at all, and we're not bothered by the hell that surrounded them. Finally, he saw a door at the very end of the hall. As he neared the door, he felt as though there was a hand closing around his windpipe. He pushed through the door, gasping and coughing. He fell onto the floor and stared at a soon-to-be-sixteen Yona.   
Her eyes held flames, and one glance in her direction made him feel as though his soul was on fire, and yet his physical body was unaffected. She slowly and ceremoniously raised a sword, which was adorned in blue, white, green, and yellow gemstones, but was the color of blood. 

Although he was paralyzed with fear, he scrambled to his feet and started towards the door. Su-won trembled with fear when he saw that the door was gone, only Hak remained. At the sight of the Lightning Beast, he collapsed on the ground. He panicked when he tried to stand up and run, but quickly realized that he couldn’t. He was completely paralyzed and felt electricity coursing through his veins. The last thing he saw before his vision faded to white was Yona's face in front of his. 

"It's okay," she said, with a voice as pure and soft as silk, "You did what you had to... So you'll understand that this is what I have to do." He felt a searing pain in his chest, and it was all over.

-

Su-won jolted upright, grabbing at his chest and gasping for air. He had broken into a sweat, and his head was pounding. He closed his eyes and squeezed his temples. "I'm alive... It's over..." He opened his eyes and glanced around the still, dark room for proof that it really was a dream when he noticed Yona sitting up and staring at him with wide eyes. 

He gasped and felt a pang of fear travel through him at the sight of her, which seemed to confuse her. 

Slowly, he watched as she looked down at her lap, then hesitantly reached her hand out to touch his with feather-light contact. He could feel her hand was shaking as it reached towards him. 

She quickly pulled it away and lied down, facing away from him. "Good, you're awake. You woke me up." She attempted whisper coldly, but her voice shook.

Both of their minds raced with the memory of their hands clasped together as children. Su-won was always the one that she held onto when she had a nightmare, but things were different now. Yes, they were both different people completely now weren't they? 

Everything inside of her wanted to embrace the Su-won she knew and hold him close to her and whisper that she loved him and free him from his mind as he caught his breath. How long had she prayed for that?   
But this person was different.

She felt herself start trembling, overwhelmed with doubt and sorrow and empathy. She heard Su-won lie back down and listened to the erratic rhythm of his breathing. Her eyes welled with tears as her mind raced. If the previous Su-won was next to me after I had a nightmare, would he ignore me? Would this Su-won ignore me?

Her tears fell and her heart thumped as she turned over to face him and reached for his hand. Her grasp was awkward, since his hands had become much larger than hers as he had grown. She felt how smooth his hands were and became suddenly self conscious about how rough hers had become from work-induced blisters and scabs. All her thoughts, however, were to distract herself so she was not looking at Su-won, who had been staring at her for quite some time. Yona could no longer stop herself, and her eyes slowly drifted up to meet his.

His hair was just slightly damp with sweat, and his eyes were red around the edges from his tears. His mouth was slightly agape, and the expression on his face was one of pure confusion. She quickly looked away, and a few silent seconds passed before she spoke.

"I... I know the Su-won I knew would never abandon me when I had a nightmare. He taught me to never do that." She gripped his hand tighter, to hide how much it was shaking. "Even if you're not that person anymore... I don't want to be a disappointment to..." She stopped for a moment to synchronize her feelings, thoughts, and breath, "to the one I lov-"

Su-won froze, pulled his hand away from hers and pressed a finger to her lips as one of the soldiers started to stir. They lay in silence for a while, before Su-won closed his eyes and removed his hand. He remained staring at Yona, while she felt the sharp sting of disappointment. He couldn't even listen to her when she was trying to help him.

"Forget it," she said, as she began to turn over. Before she could, he grabbed her hand again. She watched as he slowly raised it to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss to the back of it. "Thank you... Yona."

Both understood by the hurt, tearful expressions in the others' eyes that this was not forgiveness; it was guilt and confusion and fear. His tone sounded like a goodbye, like they had just truly met for the first time in years, but then had to turn back into the people they had to be. 

The two exchanged an understanding glance, and turned away from each other, both lying quietly, but neither able to drift back into the abyss of sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> I... really love Su-won. So much. Enough to want to see him broken and explore the regret that resides in his subconscious. It seemed like an interesting idea to explore.


End file.
